Explanation of what this document is: ------------------------------------- These are the MailFrontier quotes that were recorded into bugzilla by Kris Olson, the QA lead and first QA engineer during the 4 year MailFrontier history. During the whole MailFrontier history, Kris would notice funny or interesting statements made by employees, then enter them into a feature on bugzilla (which is bug tracking software) so one of these quotes would appear at the top of any list of bugs, or the top of an individual bug report. ------------------------------------------------------------ "Quip" "I like cold beverages" "This may seem paradoxical at first, and contradictory, but is nevertheless easily comprehensible" "I think the isolating factor may be standing here with a sandwich. -Paul" "I am under some drugs right now. -Chuck" "Dude, be happy I picked a name for you guys. Your team was nameless until now. -Usha" "I didn't know gutterballs made that much noise... -Sunil" "Well, if Sunil would stop bowling with the gutter bumpers up, he'd know what gutter balls sound like. -Leon" "Ouch! You guys are pretty good in trash talk. -Ram" "MigratePolicyFiltersFromAtCorpAtSettingsToAtCorpAtPolicyIfAppropriate() -Chad" "That is so beautiful it brings a tear to my eye. -Brian" "Thanks again for rolling balls in funny shoes....Always a good time. -Chuck" "I am going to India tomorrow night ( and hopefully I am not getting married ) -Tarun" "What kind of sexual perversion are you spewing now??!?! -Leon" "But with half of the connection refused, running out of virtual memory did not happen. -Uma" "Sometimes, you can't even lead the horse to water. -Support Lacky" "All I'm saying is that I couldn't get to the second thumb. -Brian" "Bill is good. -Billy" "Screw Linux. -Brian" "That's a lie. -Bryan" "Koblas was just full of surprises! -Nate" "Why do we care about the European guys? -Nilay" "Would that imply that our August release is evil?! -Nate" "Even if Ducks 2 and 3 could be resolved by reconfiguring the network,... Jim L" "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there - Ritesh" "So, 50% of the time you actually succeed at coding? -Tim" "Criticize and complain diplomatically: Praise something else first" "Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone - Ritesh" "I'm working from home today, my leg had a run-in with a softball. -Sunil" "No fair finding a problem and then hiding in meetings for two hours! -Nate" "Now mlfworkr should give its expected high degree of accuracy. -Eugene" "My goal has always been to be a cranky old lady standing in my yard with my hands on my hips yelling at the neighborhood kids, and I feel like I'm getting good practice. -- Kris" "It's my week for saying no. -- Kris" "Just change the milestone to "Retarget" --- that way we'll be sure to never see this bug again." "And I tell you this, I love money this quarter. -Brian" "There's no action you could take with that information. -Brian" "People will hate us, but it'll be honest hate. -Paul" "Don't be caught with checking in untested code. -Leon" "Only Brian Wilson knows. -Usha" "These Koreans do interesting things. -Jon" "They grow the grapes inside the can. -Bryan K" "Let's hit Jon first. -Leon" "Usha! -Bryan K" "A Killer Whale... Cool! It's my kinda whale ;) -Bryan K" "And we need a rubber mallet, ideally, to pound it. -Sunil" "Ooo, nice rack! -Eric" "So I started rubbing it, and it got worse and worse, so I'm like, I'm going to stop rubbing it now. -Scott" "I'm gonna have to freak out... It'll be a bloody mess. - Scott" "I locked myself out of the house without car keys. -Scott" "The sexual one's really important. -Jon" "They have a wall full of big berthas, and some smaller berthas. -Bobbi F" "People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring - ritesh" "Gotta use up those pink slips somehow. -Leon" "Have marketing install it, then. -Chad" "However, this was just to bring to light the non-nebulous costs of such things… -Gleb" "In other words, please don't distribute (sell?) the key on eBay -Leon" "I do not know what I was smoking, but it made me see double. -Jim L" "it is same, dangerously so -Ram" "It has some resemblance to accuracy. -Brian" "Oh, that looks painful. -Bryan K" "Bryan Kim's just smoking crack. -Mike Farace" "Oh, our new slogan -- "MailFrontier: We’ve got balls!" -Vera" "Hey, Ritesh, could you lay that puppy down for me again? -Debi" "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. - Ritesh" "Why don't we go to Fry's? -Bryan" "Could be socks, could be an ipod,... I don't know. -Chuck" "I don't want to be on anything for 14 hours. -Chuck" "I think physical violence might erupt were we to try and remove the box. -a distributor" "I'll just follow the cases of beer. -Carl V" "It was easy when you were talking about the server team doing it. -Tim" "I thought moon landing was a hoax. -Billy" "I will try every trick in the book – whatever it takes to buy a house. -Gleb" "I just want to make it into a white hole, and it can stay a hole. -Usha" "So, Chad is Jon now? -Chuck" "Thank you for your kindly offering your hands for help. - Nan "Kaspersky" Wang" "I made some just now. -Scott" "IBM, they're f*cking b*st*rds. -Scott" "It was fun! -Ram" "Keep it up! -Ram" "Two arguments are swapped. Unfortunately, they are of different types, causing a crash. -Eric" "It's certainly more work than ignoring the problem. -Scott" "It's hard to satisfy everyone. -Bryan Kim" "They suggest we're, like, a dirty key logger. -Mark Boze" "Love from Mom. -Sunil's mom" "My Mom says you all did a good job. -Sunil" "It's big, it's ugly, and it hurts. - Andrew Klein" "Salespeople are like moose; it's impossible to predict how they'll react in any given situation. -Adam" "Esc key to reboot Universe, or any other key to continue - Ritesh" "I could put it where you want it. -Jim Lubinsky" "There's a lot of toys, and a lot of male parts. -Jim Lubinsky" "It's OK, boys. -Anne" "I had more heat than I knew what to do with. - Mike Friedman" "I've gone craaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyy -Jon" "You don't break a sweat, and you don't need special shoes for it. -Brian" "His shirt, a purple base with yellow and red sleeves, was obviously stolen from a clown in the dark of night. -Andy K" "...many of our customers started life seeing how long they could hold their breath and staring into the sun, not forgetting the gallons of helium that they have sucked down. -Jim L" "I want the big one. -Anne" "I thought it looked long. -Nate" "Just 8 more customers to go and I make a dollar! -Brian" "Seriously, I really have no idea what I'm talking about and I want to know if I look like an idiot claiming this. -Brian" "Actually I retract my you are correct statement. -Heath" "Just sort by Chuck" "Maybe we should bump the server up to three. -Damon" "It's that word "roughly" that stresses me out - Brian Wilson" "Let's put in a word and see what happens. -Andy K" "Kinda' like writing the outline after the paper was done in High School. -Nate" "Nothing like finishing this after the product has already shipped. -Sunil" "I need a designated blower. -Michelle" "Am I taking crazy pills? -Chad" "You don't want me to figure out what day it is. -Jon" "We were just trying to get it up. -Chuck" "You question are so no clear, man????? -Billy" "I need Auditing and Logditing for next Quarter - Peggy Salom" "By their very nature, they were legion." "I would have actually liked a head-to-head with Spam Assassin. -Jon" "It doesn't matter. They wouldn't understand it anyway. -Scott" "I don't read that much. -Shelby" "Never start pmtamon again -Nate" "Well, we proved that by having babies. -Scott" "If you're not frazzled, you don't work for MailFrontier. --BrianW" "Stuff breaks, and you gotta fix it, and move on. -Chad" "Hey, you should read the job description. It sounds really exciting. -Shirley" "Read porn, all day long. -Scott" "As Nate has correctly pointed out, Kelvin will be a POSITIVE attribute to the team...(not just an attribute) -Chuck" "More data causes more problems. -Scott" "I'm pretty sure that Mike's not going to come back with some fly-by-night cube. -Tim" "It's worse than you might think. -Brian" "I'll put "bullsh!t" next to the whole paragraph. -Scott" "Okay guys, I am not some other person - Usha" "So I will take it back and fix it up so your list of things wrong back to me can be much smaller. -Heath" "Actually, I can usually do it in five minutes, so I guess I won't bother heading to SF this weekend. -Nate" "It's your Chinese name, Long-Pole. -Scott" "The mythical cluster plan. -Nate" "We're pod-arific. -Chad" "If something is wrong, obviously we should blame Nate. -Bill G" "I can do everything, but I love project management. -Usha" "Gets progressively more vulgar as it goes by. -Scott" "He turned me down, he p!ssed me off, I buy Linksys. -Billy" "I think this will be blingtastic. -Heath" "Engineers universally look at porn apparently. -Mike Farace" "Looks as close to a living god as I’ve read about. -Sean Harris" "And this is his nipples, and I didn't know what that is. -Scott" "We're still having ball problems - sean" "Holy crap. -Scott" "It's all Februaries. -Dave" "It was normal Brian. -Jon" "If you guys wanted a hack, you should have called me earlier. -Paul" "And it deserves QA because it's crazy new code. -Brian" "Dave took the last muffin. -Paul" "I think the engineers won this one, though. -Scott" "Even by making them public in a veiled way, I am running risks." "I can reboot it a few more times. -Scott" "No-meetings-without-beer day. -Paul" "Yeah, but maybe you're being too anal. -Scott" "We're actually still working on "You Are Here." -Paul" "I don't claim to be a Unix geek. -Mike Friedman" "His hamburger's in his office. -Tim" "It's hard for me not to talk out of turn. -Scott" "Oh, like we test. -Paul" "Don't use blue, is my advice. -Brad" "So that means you should add enough bugs so you don't have to do QA. -Jon" "Anyone who approached these secrets without the proper preparation would plunge headlong into the Abyss." "Actually, I think I'm going to pull the monkey wrench out. -Scott" "We all had to shutdown to make coffee. -Paul" "I'll mock your foolish code. -Paul" "Have you ever written code that you WEREN'T comfortable with? -Scott" "The user profiler isn't done yet; that's what's wrong with it. -Scott" "I'll just make you an admin. -Mike Friedman" "Should we drop you down to 25%? -Steve" "Mark it as done. -Billy" "Well, we were certainly integrating. -Paul" "We can take him to the spa again. -Tim" "The weasel wants to sing; he just needs to know the tune." "It's a totally different implementation, so there's a totally different set of bugs. -Brad" "That term means something? -Brian" "Donuts are good. -Jon" "I could also do bagels. -Tim" "Let's do this thing. -Gleb" "Round and deliciously starchy… you know you want them! -Jessica" "It ruins the symmetry, though. -Phyllis" "Times like those, are good times to be alarmist. -Gleb" "Ooo! Amazon.com! It's like Christmas every day. -Brian" "Welcome to the dark side of nerd-dom. -Dave" "You will make a fortune with your friends." "It's really easy - all it needs is a little love and attention. -Tim" "Well, I know lots of things. -Brad" "I haven't had a box of wine in my current place for over a year. -Brian" "I'm just warning you to listen. -Brad" "Next time we're not going to do that, right? -Brad" "We call that a workaround. -Tim" "I can access everything. -Mike Friedman" "She says, "Resist the temptation to code." It's not very hard. -Mandi" "It smells like cloves. -Kris" "I have the power! Snacks and straws - just what I need. -Michelle" "Met the demands of this position with enthusiasm and confidence." "That just cost you another quarter. -Mike Friedman" "The sales team is talking about wanting more. -Tim" "Woo-hoo! -Scott" "It's still making more money than ASG... that's sweet! -Scott" "Scott wants money. -Tim" "No one calls me. -Damon" "I'm not winging anything in. -Damon" "These grapes are so dusty. -Casey" "I wrote code and it's beautiful, and it does beautiful things. -Mandi" "Brian is my inspiration? -Mandi" "We can put some grunt in there; I don't care if their hair falls out." "Get yours before someone else does. -Tim" "It only SEEMS to do nothing to the unenlightened. -Paul" "Wow! This is...like...a WHOLE new concept in QA! -Paul" "Should I go get the frozen banana? -Mandi" "Everybody wants me now. -Scott" "I can't believe I'm the positive guy. -Scott" "Hey, quit writing those down! -Scott" "You should clarify, that those aren't my bananas. -Mandi" "But it probably will work and will probably be flawless. -Brian" "What's checked into the tree doesn't actually work without some disgusting hacks. -Brad" "I'm gonna have to send myself some porn." "Sass just fits me, I think. -Mandi" "I never had any sympathy for the person who puts hot coffee between their legs. -Scott" "It turns out you can get it dried and hard. -Brian" "We could do Gleb for even less. -Mike Friedman" "I thought I would do an interpretive dance of the QA process- Kris" "I come out of the closet every day. -Eric" "A driver who refused police orders to pull over because he wanted to keep smoking crack in his truck was captured when he mistakenly drove into the police headquarters parking lot, authorities said." "That clock actually did hurt, when it hit my head. -Tim" "I claim this is a lie. -Brian" "Don't mess with Kris. -Paul" "Dog food doesn't taste good." "Oh my god, what alien wrote that code? -Brian" "So, defer Europe. -Tim" "You get good stuff! You get free porn in your inbox every day! -Scott" "I know what an asterisk is! -Mandi" "Very long 12 hour one, with none of his friends, who are all at work. -Brian" "Plus, it's more fun to find other peoples' bugs. -Paul" "Sales is just going ahead and selling the early adopter. -Tim" "Don't we have some bugs on that? -Scott" "This guy, you'd probably be insulted if you weren't on his list. -Tim" "I think this time I can do it. -Brad" "Snickers is a good dog." "I've got a million of 'em." "I'm having fun today, and it has nothing to do with the amount of porn I'm seeing. -Dave" "I need more meat and cheese. -Scott" "You all would think I was idiots. -Tim" "I swear I'm not drunk; I claim your floor is uneven. -Brian" "We call this a "Win-Win" button. -Paul" "And you can tell me whether I'm just totally insane. -Scott" "Asurion's good. -Chuck" "I think that's the wussy man's way out. -Scott" "Here, you want more proof? -Mandi" "Sick of your STUPID friends on BIG money because they went to college?" "That's crazy talk!" "And you were complaining about iplanet. -Brad" "And our effectiveness does drop over time. -Tim" "You gotta have the must-haves. -Tim" "We saw no evidence that we were going up and down like a yo-yo. -Jon" "Sweet! My favorite platform. -Brian" "I'm getting so geeky. -Mandi" "Look, it sounds like me. "It's a wonderful thing." -Mandi" "I can show you my cool little tool. -Paul" "I don't have any small ones. -Nilay" "Impress your friends - It's like being in your own Mountain Dew commercial..." "We should all feel ecstatic...but somewhat nervous and highly vigilant." "Why are you so negative? I didn't even say a thing. -Billy" "They're officially happy, until tomorrow. -Chuck" "You got pizza on your chest, now. -Tim" "I think, do it in a spreadsheet. -Nilay" "He hasn't emailed me so it hasn't broken. -Nilay" "I'm trying to instill this engineering feeling of paranoia. -Tim" "What do you know! Kris is right. -Tim" "Fix the bugs, the install process is going to go better, -Tim" "Can you please show us your thing and we'll see if you're pegged? -Tim" "Tim has a buttload. -Mandi" "They took the screw out of my chin" "The build is going to have a funny bug number, right? -Kris" "No, no! I did that on purpose! -Paul" "Oh god, I can't think of anything more distasteful. -Brian" "I'm not really prepared. -Scott" "No, no. The worst name is 'updater.' -Dave" "Unix already does core dumps. -Brad" "Dudes, dudes, dudes,... and dudettes. -Kurt" "He's coming down with Profiler issues this week. -Tim" "I was told, "e-profiler equals Jon gets on a plane." -Scott E" "Why did they choose to delay, instead of, like, screwing us? -Brad" "They're edible, but, you know, what're you gonna do" "Yeah, all the smart people are in porn. -Paul" "Polygonally fetching. -Paul" "It's the best build ever! -Xiaoqing" "They think all I'm going to do is work on rats. -Mandi" "We doing this thing? -Gleb" "So actually, I have no idea. -Gleb" "Why is Gleb here, again? -Scott" "You guys are so subjunctive. -Paul" "That's kind of a shock, right? -Brad" "Is it a secret? -Scott" "I killed him with a green glob. -Scott" "Yank, yank. -Gleb" "Yeah, but cherrypicked into what? -Tim" "I guess we need another theoretical bucket. -Brad" "It's like, almost possible, but, you know, screw 'em. -Brian" "That's the bug we don't talk about. -Scott" "You tried it, and you provided feedback. -Scott" "If Jon fails, blame me. -Tim" "I don't know where the room for improvement is. -Brian" "It's like software development. -Paul" "The VC's are complete insane lunatic flakes. -Brian" "One of the nice things about Hamlet is that Polonius gets stabbed." "With this plan, it's sounding like Webvan. -Jon" "You got opinions on that, Scott? -Steve" "Now, this seems criminal to me. -Brian" "We crawled under Brian's desk, we looked at his hub. -Scott" "Think of it as recess. -Kurt" "As engineers, we're totally cantankerous. -Brian" "I'm trying to give them money, they won't take my money! -Mike Friedman" "Ok, I have happy face about this build. -Xiaoqing" "Go and take a smell of it. -Mandi" "Please don't play, please don't poke. -Dave" "A lot bloodier and a lot more realistic. -Scott" "I've never seen so much infection in my life. -Brad" "Tim and I tried to be firm in various places. -Jon" "I personally found it a bit of a minefield. -Jon" "We're certainly an impatient company. -Tim" "Some fly-by-night place out of Chicago. -Brian" "It's like Kurt -- anything could come out of their mouth. -Brian" "10 minutes is WAY shorter than infinite. -Brad" "You're always on it. -Gleb" "I could party, and I was sober, and I was richer. -Wendy" "What's you're problem with it? You were fine when it was infinite. -Brad" "Well, we should muzzle him. -Tim" "Hey, it demonstrates that we're thinking about it. -Tim" "Billy seems to end up with everything. -Brad" "Sales - halfway in between a stripper and an engineer. -Brian" "I thought the quota was just implemented for Scott. -Steve" "Get over it. -Brad" "Hey, if it looks like I peed on the floor, I didn't. -Mandi" "My knees just got wobbly. -Paul" "It's OK, it's OK. Just figure it out -- don't worry. -Billy" "... and Ho-Ho's. -Casey" "Aspire to 1/2. -Tim" "We chose style. -Gleb" "He's got a big thing now. -Brad" "Almost all effectiveness issues turn out not to be rules. -Tim" "Well, I'm more than happy to have someone else do it. -Brad" "Anyone who has passion about that, ... -Dave" "We'll wrap it up in spam. -Jon" "Permeable firewall with lots of holes in it. -Tim" "F@#& that Perl S*%$. -Scott" "I looked at it, and I was, like, bleah. -Scott" "There are claims of foul play and other shenanigans. -Tim" "Solaris is about to go mainstream. -Howard" "It sounds like gerbils in your pants." "Pack up and go home, since they'll be suing us. -Dave" "You're like totally entertained by the motion on the screen. -Brian" "Sales are not an insignificant part of funding anymore. -Brian" "The good news is that we continue to be seen as a hot small company in a hot market. -Tim" "Kurt's calm under pressure, and he still cracks under that. -Brian" "Supposedly, unless you lick his open wounds. -Scott" "He did use the word "licking." -Scott" "I fear what he's gonna produce. -Brian" "It's slightly concerning that some of these companies are going to be paranoical. -Gleb" "I'd love to have you put it in. -Brad" "We should be able to get it on maybe Tuesday-Wednesday. -Tim" "We've destroyed machines, but we haven't lost email. -Brian" "I need this schedule to hold. -Tim" "Looks like a maggot. Wonder how much protein that is? -Mandi" "But Kurt, Honey, that's the way you train, Babe. -Wendy" "Sign me up for the unstable one. -Brad" "I can break builds faster than anyone else. -Dave" "That's insane, so it's next year. -Brian" "It'll be the best product ever, Brian. -Jon" "Slow down, Tex. -Brian" "It's all about locking people about, man. -Scott" "All I need is about ten people like me monkeying with it. -Scott" "Don't tell Brian; he'll buy another vending machine. -Pavni" "These things are hard to juggle. -Dave" "It's easy to blame someone else. Yes, so easy... ;)" "Look at them as much as me! Look at all three of us! -Jon" "We should certainly have a culture of peer pressure and embarrassment. -Tim" "So, just a reminder, stop doing that. -Tim" "At some point, you have to fix them. -Brad" "The rule is, screw you, man. -Brian" "It works on my machine. - Bryan" "Should we try to schedule it in one of your holes? -Jon" "Gleb doesn't always want to solve a problem. Sometimes he just wants a press release. -Tim" "I'll be under my desk. -Paul" "You're like an idiot-savant, Jon. -Brad" "It unfortunately works. -Paul" "I like the lacy kind. -Paul" "Tim! Tim! Look at your bars! Quick! Right now! -Brian" "I can see down your shirt. Cool. -Michelle" "Why don't you just put this in there? -Michelle" "You could be my... -Kris" "I had a margarita for lunch today. It was so nice. That's the way life should be for me. -Brian" "Just let her in, she knows everything .--Pavni" "But, as someone said, "Automating Jon." -Gleb" "It was a thing of beauty. -Gleb" "...especially spam-fighting features. -Dave" "I claim it's twenty minutes or so, plus two years of QA. -Brian" "We'll make sure everybody gets your OK. -Steve" "We don't actually tell the board anything of value. -Brian" "I like you, but just not in that way -Kris" "Before the Registry have I respect and the Share file says to me also nothing." "It's good to be huge. -Brad" "I have a little tiny one. -Brad" "It's the whole pie story again. -Brad" "I'm like, Dude, you've got a bug. -Damon" "I'm dripping with respect for you. -Paul" "Somehow we upgraded ourselves to a broken state. -Dave" "I have a need for it. -Heath" "Not dick-bound? What the hell is that? -Scott" "Gets bigger every time. -Scott" "That's why it's called envelope.dat. That's the filename. -Scott" "So, do you have a hammer? -Gleb" "Everything on the roadmap is a must. The 'wants' and 'wishes' just didn't make it in there. -Gleb" "Other than ‘Master/Slave’, we considered ‘Overlord/Peon’, ‘King/Serf’, and ‘Boss/Dilbert’… -Gleb" "My pupils are dilated. -Steve" "I promise I won't ask for new hardware for a year. -Brian" "It's important to get your squiggles and slashes in the right order. -Tim" "What can we get for the maximum amount of money? -Brian" "No! I only want 2-proc! -Brian" "The magic panacea. -Brian" "It's gonna popup a dialog that says something like, "Holy crap, Batman!" -Brian" "How about master/submissive? -Jon" "I actually don't understand why we can't enslave machines. -Tim" "I keep coming up with lots of words for 'A.' -Tim" "Spam-blocking is priority three here at MailFrontier. -Brian" "I'm not actively trying to destroy the QA effort. -Brian" "Yeah, 2.2 will be swank. -Brian" "Marketing controls two digits, and we control two. -Tim" "The good news is that you don't have an HR person who's overly sensitive. -Wendy" "Man, you earn the fifty dollar gift certificate, but you get fired. -Billy" "The stressful part is the drilling part, cuz you never know when you're gonna hit a power main. -Brian" "When you had to get a Nobel prize winner to do your homework for you? -Howard" "I think people check it in and leave crappy crap around. -Damon" "You can lay a new one in twenty minutes. -Brian" "But if it's a plan that's doomed, that's not a good plan. -Tim" "I just dumped it in a file. -Dave" "And that's going to immediately put pressure on the holes. -Tim" "I think we used the term "lying bastards." -Brian" "I'm supporting my manager. -Paul" "If it dies, it dies ... later. -Brad" "Everyone is welcome whether they know how to play or not. -Tim" "If you're gonna do anything crazy in the tree, this is the week to do it. -Brian" "If you allocate something, think about how it's freed. -Brad" "We have actually been flat for a while. -Dave" "You're going to drip on the floor, and it's going to smell like a frat house. -Brian" "They've got insane rules about things like, what defines a sausage. -Jon" "He's not a dope. We were hoping he was a dope. -Paul" "These guys, they seem to be just a pile of geeks. -Brian" "Brad's not smiling. -Paul" "I think we'll be able to legitimately claim "buggy, but feature complete." -Paul" "I know me and Billy are paired up, but I don't know how the dates go. -Tim" "He's not as smart as those salespeople think. -Wendy" "These see-through ones are the best. You know when you're out. -Patty" "You should do ten percent. -Phyllis" "Do a demo, Nilay. -Ray" "It was Jamaica vs. the world, and Jamaica always won. I always think of that with Shelby. -Phyllis" "With medication, I could. -Brad" "Seems it we would be breaking tradition if didn't do a new build the day before the release. -Kris" "What? -Billy" "I would propose as a goal to have the 2.2 ready with the 2.2 release. -Brian" "Mac users like puppies." "I'm riding shotgun on myself. -Paul" "So that's 2.1, and after 2.1, there's 2.2. -Brad" "That wasn't exactly cranking away. -Howard" "We say "aggressive" here. -Brian" "Hey, Mandi, can I pee? -Casey" "There's one that does something with his hands, like this. -Scott" "No way, dude! It's awesome! -Howard" "The craziest things are attracted to these pants. -Mandi" "Billy's wierd. -Bryan" "So if they really want that, yeah, you're going to be involved. -Howard" "I'm gonna kinda own, like, beating people. -Scott" "Haven't you figured it all out yet with your enormous squishy frontal lobes?" "Actually, we continued the anal-ness; we just did it in Excel. -Tim" "So however it was done -- I still don't know what those meetings were about. -Brian" "David's been touching it, I've been touching it. -Tim" "Did you get it up yet? -Tim" "Well, we need new help stuff for all the new stuff. -Gleb" "Sales people are more like people people -Kris" "Can I grab you real quick? -Tim" "One too many assumptions, not enough brain cells. -Dave" "If you have me do this unnecessarily, you may break your nice new IT person, and Tim will be very sad. -Mike Farace" "Or, for instance, you have an infinite amount of locking. -Brian" "puppies are everywhere.. from analyst reports to tv, everyone loves those puppies. -Pavni" "This is cutting into my getting-ready-for-drinking time. -Mandi" "I guarantee you that if we're the ones doing it, it'll happen slowly. -Brian" "They're totally cool, they're not freaking out. -Nilay" "... even when the Germans are sleeping. -Nilay" "TOTALLY dropped! -Brian" "Well, today is tomorrow. -Brad" "How long of a pole is it? -Gleb" "A day before we install at Ameritrade, I want to have branched. -Tim" "The answer is yes, but no. -Nilay" "I think Brian's hot. -Xiaoqing" "I think it's gotta be something dopey. -Paul" "I know you're the wrong person to beat up over this, but... -Brian" "Normally, there's a big cover up, but actually not with this one. -Brian" "I don't think people are going to break down weeping. -Scott" "You name it, we're against it. -Brad" "And all in one breath, too. -Patti" "We're in labor, we're just waiting for it to pop. -Patti" "Well actually, be strangers, because we need you coding. -Patti" "It's not a bug! -Billy" "Wow, I'm surprised my butt fits in here. -Mandi" "I am getting spam and ready to claim my hostile workplace fine ($200,000 per episode). -Nilay" "I'll let mine burn. -Paul" "Well, do a double-quip. -Jon" "That's really embarrassing. You ought to drink a lot. -Brad" "At least when he has meetings, he has to wear pants. -Usha" "They're gonna hate us. I say we stay in here. -Tim" "We do all our QA in Assembly. -Brad" "This is totally broken. -Steve" "It doesn't offend me. I like maple syrup. -Brad" "I just look at the log and it's doing more. -Brad" "That sounds like a guy for eight hours, to me. -Brian" "Jon: "I'm off to the dentist." Wendy: "Well, have a nice time!"" "I want more; I want bigger. -Tim" "What open source weenie wrote that crap and gave it away for free? -Brian" "Amazingly enough, everything seems to be working fine! -Brad" "I'd rather bect than be bected, I think. -Brad" "Ooo, that's very dark. -Steve" "I wrote a great paper on that, but it actually has some flaws. -Tim" "If people have ideas so it forks somewhere else... -Tim" "We could be the thing that bifurcates. -Scott" "We used to have a pet skunk when I was a kid, and I thought I found my pet skunk. -Brad" "You can point it wherever you want. -Kris" "Larger is always better. -Michelle" "I went out and bought a manly cover. -Paul" "I wasn't puttig a ram down there. -Christy" "No engineers had to be dragged in to pull their hair out, and no animals were harmed either. -Brad" "What's that? A door! What do you do with it? Close it! - BrianW's therapy-inducing camp counselor from 22 years ago." "Yeah, my code sucked. -Brian" "I'm a porn star, too. I'm a gay porn star, in fact. -Brad" "Brad is fresh and tasty. -Mandi" "Dave is not a Smurf. -Mandi" "I'll sit in the middle so you can see my color. -Tim" "I'm not sure it's always trickling. -Tim" "There's a feeling that Billy's a pocket. -Scott" "It's broken and brain-damaged, but it shows you what we can do. -- overheard at a demo at Apple" "At this point in time, I think your hopes would be dashed. -Brad" "I'm going to make Bryan Kim do mine. -Scott" "I remember I was brooding on the fantasies of children." "Just to clarify, Gleb and I are not breeding. -Phyllis" "Please type in "I am an idiot." -Brad" "Brad keeps bringing up holes. -Brian" "Lots of things create long poles. -Brad" "I want to put the cans of worms on the wall. -Tim" "But, I'm OK with long and thin. -Brian" "We deserve it because we're more important. -Jon" "We need a P-Confused. -Paul" "We've already got a recorder of stupid things that I say. -Scott" "On the floor, in the corner. -Eunice" "That shows you the robustness of our system. -Jon" "Sorry I missed your thing, Jon. -Brad" "It's all f@$#ing confusing. -Scott" "The ownership of some of that stuff is pretty liquid - Scott E." "I need amnesty from quips - Scott E." "Solaris is just a pain in the ass, in general. -Brad" "We can certainly beef up the "other" support. -Steve" "Adam got all butthurt because Mike stole his b@$%&. -Dave" "Certainly they'd ask me before they did something insanely stupid like that. -Brian" "Nilay was going to do it, and the support team was going to watch. -Gleb" "The contraction doesn't work for females. -Brad" "I don't want to debate, at some level, whether it's hard or not. -Gleb" "Apparently it's a bad thing, right? -Xiaoqing" "So I felt bed for not getting it up right away. -Mike Farace" "Stop eating my HoHos! - Scott E." "Let's stick with "forgotten" -- it's polite. -Jon" "I'm like, "Oh, you know, it's string theory." -Mandi" "We are blown through a toner in about 4 weeks it seems. -Mike Farace" "Well, he's KIND OF clever. -Nilay" "Mendicants can't be selective recipients" "Slightly newer, slightly better. -Dave" "It could get us not sued. -Gleb" "Which puts us in this Matador loop of angriness. -Chuck" "Dave, you're losing your sexiness. -Mandi" "Well, he's kind of like a physicist and all. -Steve" "The motivation is to go after the money. -Tim" "In Europe, they're crazy. -Jon" "I'm overbooked, if we're talking about doing some of the things on the wall. -Steve" "Let's ship a really lame AV in the first one. -Tim" "Yeah right dude. You said you fixed it last time. Show me the proof. -Damon" "That's just dummmmmmmmmb! - Scott E." "Is that pen or is that Ho-Ho? -Scott" "Must stay quiet. -Jody" "Percentage-wise, we're kicking all your asses. -Scott" "What order do you guys want me in? -Scott" "My drawer is not so secret anymore. -Billy" "And you might as well start the 2.2.1 wiki. -Dave" "I showered this morning. -Scott" "So Brad, now that we're about to ship 2.2, do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? -Howard" "You can't count, and you can't spell. -Brad" "I'm encouraged by Brian's attitude. I'll patent anything. -Jon" "I'm thinking: small baby, good for pushing out. -Jamie" "Coding conventions are evil, except for mine. -Bob" "Is hockey the one where they sweep in front of a rolling stone on ice? -Casey" "You need to learn to love nerds. -Scott" "Open a window its going to be deadly in here. --Kris" "Catherine: Is she a Human?" "Woo-hoo! I have coverage! -Jon" "They die, and they die in the middle of the night. -Tim" "Partially, they're right because in order to go home, they're going to have to solve the problem. -Brad" "This week, this week. It'll pass. -Brian" "I don't know, you guys are more like dogs. -TIm" "We can study the trend reports during holiday season. -Usha" "I'm being immortalized again. -Bob" "Bring the damn needles! - Mandi" "Sometimes the unit of measure called 'smallish' gets translated incorrectly. -Mike Farace" "Man, you guys are getting all the good fumes. -Scott" "I'm signing in David's blood. -Scott" "Dude! Bugs happen! - Scott E." "Mandi is upset. We lost four inches. She wants those extra four inches. -Jon" "Four inches makes a big difference! -Mandi" "Now we've got to understand why Ushabad wasn't working. -Jon" "If you want something, let's just do it. -Doreen" "This is going to be relatively painful. -Brian" "I support the bang extension. -Dave" "Challenge Always is an atomic bomb. -Brian" "ASG has one; why can't we have one? -Scott" "If they're working on the UI, I'll be watching them like a hawk. -Steve" "12/7 I want it a little less rough. -Tim" "But they don't want to get to nirvana on day one. -Nilay" "I just sort of bit the bullet and work in the Koblasian world. -Jon" "In the spirit of becoming a boring big company,... -Wendy" "Those engineers -- you can never trust them. -Phyllis" "But there'll be no Kit-Kats. -Steve" "Billy, make it big -Bryan" "You're in the charge of the fruity-fruit s*$#. -Brian" "Hi, you've reached Chuck Holland. Please leave a message. -Scott" "Second caller has to be gotten rid of or taken care of. -Phone Training Guy" "So I'm going to go ahead and click on Tiger Woods. -Phone Training Guy" "So can you decide you want to go home without physically having to go home? -Doreen" "IT Guy still hasn’t jumped off building -Mike Farace" "He's coming back with tacos. -Casey" "C'mon folks, it ain't orthodontia. -Nate" "I guarantee that the top level management is going to flinch ... Maybe not. -Scott" "The thing about that org chart that's wierd is that it's too big and it's too little. -Brian" "When you talk to Wendy -- and good luck with this advice -- ... -Brian" "Ooo! Ho-Hos! I love Ho-Hos. -Scott" "Everyone be nice to everyone else. -Wendy" "I was sitting in popcorn. -Tim" "They say the way to get invited to the party is to wear a red dress. Well, I don't want YOU to wear a red dress, but... -Anne" "They can't buy from you if they've never heard of you. -Anne" "That's what I love about marketing. -Scott" "I don't think marketing could find the printer. -Tim" "I'm running this game, Miss CEO. -Mandi" "This is not a monkey. - Kris" "We do have a rule, I was just doing things "incorrectly". -David" "Viagra is ongoing. -Andy" "The greatest build ever has lost its shine. -Tim" "Well, I'm waiting for you, because he's wet at the moment. -Tim" "We're finally getting all our ducks in a row and I have to make sure Gleb's comfortable with those ducks. -Scott" "Didn't we have a plan? We had a plan, didn't we?" "I got shanked by a spork in the yard. -Brian" "I thought this was a nugget. There's a bone in there. -Casey" "That's what we need: more snit. -Scott" "January 2nd, that's like right after January 1st. -Tim" "I'm getting all the engineers drunk. -Mandi" "I never had rum cake before. I think I like it. -Brad" "Aaah, don't worry about it. That's what customers are for. -Brian" "It better not start dying. -Dave" "Come soon, we're going to be spending a lot of money pushing ... something. -Gleb" "That's an interesting place for a banana. -Steve" "That's how big my balls are. -Patti" "I've got a nice, big, heavy-duty one. Metal. -Scott" "I don't know. I haven't been on my knees today. -Mike Farace" "OK, you can punt Brad then, and I'll punt you. -Usha" "I just wanted to make sure we have coverage on my pieces. -Scott" "Dig that cr*p out. It came up again. -Brian" "Hey! A bag of perl! This is cool! -Tim" "What does she do? Anything? -Brad" "It's like the worst of all worlds, isn't it? -Brian" "Australia is far away. -Tim" "This is one of the most perfect builds ever to come out of the engineering team. -Brian" "Can't spell it, but I did it. -Mike Farace" "I was really hoping we could get back to doing some Matador-y things. -Scott" "Well, I saw his hair walk into his office, so hopefully he was attached. -Sunil" "No one told me, and I did not see any email on this and it was not clear. -Mike Farace" "It's nice to know Nilay has piano problems. -Scott" "I can't hold it in my head anymore. -Tim" "You're just losing more money faster. -Gleb" "I think we should leak it, and not do it, and let Brightmail do it. -Brad" "I think you should have named it "Enema" after how it unconstipates your inbox- Actual customer" "By induction, it can stay up forever. -Paul" "I want to get it up. -Scott" "I can make it blink! -Billy" "! mailed status from previous week which was still in drafts folder -Jon (in status report)" "Gosh, that was strange. I don't know what to make of that. -Brian" "What else, other than profound frustration, do we want out of this meeting? -Brian" "Brad owns all the band-aids. -Brian" "We're not holding hands on the road, or something. -Nilay" "It's my favorite part of the meeting. -Brian" "It's like the board meeting: "Business has been conducted." -Gleb" "We rejected the smart ones. -Tim" "Plus, it's undermining my economy. -Scott" "You know what sucks worse? F*#!ing Linux, man. -Brian" "Solaris sucks. -Damon" "I can buy a patent for a pair of pants that rakes leaves. -Andy" "We need an owner. Who's the owner? -Brian" "I'm sick of being turned down by this guy. -Brian" "Sometimes you just want to use it, and it's broken. -Billy" "It works, it does some things. -Dave" "I bet it turned Virginia into Viagra. -Jon" "We need to bump it. Bump it. -Pavni" "I work all the time, so you don't have to worry. -Usha" "QA is thwarting our process. -Brian" "Great work. Let's make sure we don't have to do great work anymore. -Pavni" "Next time, I'm going to listen to the little warning bells in my head and not ask, "What do you mean?" -Steve" "This one is probably my biggest screw-up. -Brian" "Let's just pause there for a second -> it seems hard to believe but we REALLY ARE a generation AHEAD of Tumbleweed in Policy Management. -Brian" "He's crazy. I'm glad he lives in another state. -Chuck" "Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool - Ritesh" "Kill All Bugs In One Go - Use Baygon Spray (Available with guard on duty) !! - Ritesh" "To be sitting and doing nothing you must be sitting very high - Ritesh" "There are 10 kind of people in this world, one who understand binary and others who don't. - Ritesh" "I need to succeed because i dislike faling. I am experiencing lack of options. - Ritesh" "Can we move QA upstairs? -Billy" "This bug is going to involve RAW human emotion !! - Ritesh" "My Bug is information for you, Right then why r u screwed up - Ritesh" "Imagine a BUGless world - Ritesh" "This is not a bug, it is a feature! Learn to use it, Please don't say it now - Ritesh" "I really have to understand how this works... Damon, I'm tempted to assign this to you -- Scott Eikenberry" "Some people shouldn't carry sharpened pencils" "If I just unplug it, won't it crash? - Brian Wilson" "You can't ask for more sex. That's what they're worried about. -Brad" "The product gets worse in every release. -Tim" "I want Bryan Kim to follow you home. -Scott" "I just heard Scott tell Dave it has to be portable to Unix. -Paul" "Little PhD guy is taking over. -Scott" "But the problem is, it's the last quarter of all of us. -Jon" "We always chintz on research. -Brian" "I have a long week today. -Casey" "We're using February because it's here. -Anne" "We also have a range of guerilla tactics, which I'll go into. -Anne" "What's launching is a whole campaign about nothing. -Anne" "But do we have to wear nothing in the booth? -Patti" "You will get nothing and LIKE it then why not Bug - Ritesh" "Every man should marry after all, happiness is not the only thing in life :-) - Ritesh" "I trust geeks, actually. -Wendy" "May you have the hindsight to know where you have been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far... Ritesh" "Your future depends on your dreams So go to sleep :-) Ritesh" "Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. - Ritesh" "well, we're about to show them the penis sticker anyway -Debi" "I put a quip in from debi, I put in penis I hope that’s ok -Mandi" "Anyone who works here will hear the word penis often enough. -Kris" "What does Other mean and shouldn't we be stating something more useful? -Sunil" "Maybe I understated that a little bit. -Chuck" "Word for the future: Pointer to data pretty much describes everything we do around here. -Brian" "We can't rename pdata. -Jon" "Hashing collisions are going to be like peanuts in the wind. -David" "Yeah, I really shouldn't breed. -Brian" "Are you all done? Are you REALLY done? -Usha" "I don't know what that is. Sounds bad. -Brad" "Don't write that down! DON'T WRITE THAT DOWN! -Scott" "Adapt! Overcome! -- Brian Wilson" "Handsome is that, who handsome does! - Hitesh" "If you have trouble, I think I probably know how to make a phone call. -Bryan" "So let's get it up so we can use it. --Deanne" "The only time "Success" comes before "Work" is in the Dictionary." "A contractor is staring today to alleviate the load a bit. -Tim" "You know what we need, is coffee. -Scott" "Nvidia's fine with any sideways act. They don't care. -Nilay" "So I guess we're supporting it? So we should actually look at it? -Chuck" "I'll take my notebook, then. I may not be coming back. -Scott" "We can train support under fire. -Tim" "Kris, if it was Mardi Gras, I wouldn't have a shirt on. -Mandi" "Fixing up well understood stupidity, I can do. -Jon" "WOOF - Free Dog Treats" "You are not your khakis" "Do not eat the Red Vines until they've been placed in the appropriate location on the counter. -Wendy" "Is it a bug or a feature, that's the debate - Suresh" "Well, it's not very aggressive then, is it? -Brian" "Feeling lucky? Search Google - Suresh" "Well, I am not sure what it was I fixed exactly, but I think I googled my way to a fix -Mike Farace" "One build, one customer -- that's our motto. -Brian" "Because the escalation process was a bit violent. -Jon" "OK, so it wasn't really a conversation, it was a phone call. -Jon" "I like it soft. -Kris" "I'm afraid of Jon's item. -Scott" "Camel is a horse without QA - Ritesh" "Man is a Chimpanji with lot of QA - Ritesh" "He started it! -Nilay" "Did you look deep into his eyes and see if he was willing to code? -Scott" "if you do not succeed at first, try management - Ritesh" "Don't be afraid of your tool. -Tim" "It's exponential, but it's squared. -Nate" "The error made at backend gets reflected on frontend, in every aspects :)) - Ritesh" "I like it long & deep" "Jon should be curious and appreciative. -Tim" "Tim's a tight bottleneck? -Scott" "Do zebras eat daisies? -Tim" "A bigger pen writes bigger. -Nate" "Do not quote that number! -Jon" "Make my funk the P-Funk. I wants to get funked up." "What're you looking at me for? -Brian" "Howard, Steve wants you. -Angela" "Damon, where are you? I want to kill you. -- Bryan Kim" "I haven't been able to test puppies. -Bryan" "Lack of interest. -Jim L" "I'm going to say this, then I'm going to argue with myself. -Nate" "If Nate's coming at you, he's coming at you with authority. -Tim" "It takes forever, vpn slow like hell. -Xiaoqing" "Progress is our middle name" "Customers don't like gratuitous touching. -- Sushant" "Spammers Love Springer - Nate" "Let's do Steve. -Brian" "Let me just butter my bagel - Nilay" "The nugget of steel. -Jim Lubinsky" "... because they're actually touching our customers directly. -Doreen" "They have glorified and beautified it. -Gail" "We don't have enough staff to be working in two trees right now. -Scott" "Where are the holes he's going to leave in his wake? -Tim" "What's the goal of the game? -Bryan" "What's the goal of any of them? -Casey" "Goo goo goo. -Tim" "It's OK to be social when you're talking about quips. -Nilay" "They fix for only a brief moment nature's flux, but their illusion of order gives us hope." "Has anyone told Scott that Matador's going to be given away for free? -Sushant" "Enter in a bug if you have a problem, goddamn it! --Kris" "An intellectualis someone who has found something more interesting than sex - Ritesh" "Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearin gone and got hit by a bus - Rits" "Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house duringa power failure - Ritesh" "I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women - Ritesh" "Me and the girl, I was crazy about, had matching taste, We both are crazy for gurls - Ritesh" "A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man - Ritesh" "My wife i s a sex object. EvertimeI ask for sex, she objects - Ritesh" "If I don't respond, it's intentional. -Ram" "Tim's an email pervert. -Paul" "It's just a marketing term. There's nothing real behind it. -Brian" "And I'm OK with doing it today as long as they give me money. -Usha" "This is inappropriate and makes you look unethical to others! -Roger" "Politics is my next playground. -Erica" "We can use that slide again and again. -Nilay" "What does it mean when you say that Barracuda is toward the bag-of-legos side? -Sushant" "I just like to get some attention, and I will be flexible and work as team. -Bryan" "So it's exciting and scary all at the same time. -Scott" "I think we can mitigate that by telling the customers, "Look, don't go crazy with this." -JP" "Yesterday was my last day (even though I just checked in more code :^). -Sarah" "We were juggling oatmeal or something. -Paul" "I'm a nicer person, but I'm not as happy. -Scott" "I don't think I'd trust her carving my salmon up. -Scott" "Then I can go carve in peace. -Angela" "Customers have never had a problem contacting us when they have a problem with effectiveness. -Chuck" "Wow, it's refreshing to work with rational customers every now and then! -Nate" "If you find a bunch of unglazed donuts in the morning, you know what happened last night -Edward" "Power! Always start with power! -Chuck" "I must have looked like a snake that just ate a water buffalo. -JP" "If somebody has twins, Ram and Tim are good to use. -Usha" "Automatically" "Everybody try not to look at his nose. -Paul" "Post-Nemo is Woody. -Sushany" "But if you're doing a wad,... -Jon" "We've sucked since day one. -Scott" "I own the knob, and I own other knobs as well. -Tim" "I will not mention the word "lotto" to a customer anymore. -Chuck" "I think they are really hot-to-trot in the Korean market. -Brian" "We focused on the top-level stuff. There's room for coolness. -Tim" "We could have a little animated Nilay, the Help Guy. -Chuck" "Yeah, we're supposed to use mlfdirs to find that cr@p, but trust me, we don't. -Brian" "You're gonna have to solve the "you're gonna die" part. -Tim" "And just a reminder, you can always reach ME at my toaster at pwcrispy@twoslices.com. -Paul" "It's been a long time since I've been serviced. -Wilson" "Well, it's got two circles, doesn't it? -Jon" "I figured leaving some red in there made it more realistic. -Mike" "Why, is it a dirty word? -Scott" "Do you realize the future you have as an expert witness? -Erica" "I think this is Chuck's lovey-dovey song. -Sunil" "You want a spec? "Make it look like that." That's the spec. -Brian" "Yeah, but Engineers can kick butt on sales people, so you guys should be able to take 'em! -Nate" "The positive thing on that is that the corruption doesn't make it to the CC. -Jim" "Be careful with the snakes. -Usha" "By default, we throw everything up. -Paul" "Everything should be as simple as possible but no simpler." "Farschnicket me timbers!" "Sunil plays 1B, Andy is our catcher and I'm in the outfield. -James" "Oh, my god. I dropped it. -Usha" "Bryan loves the cr@ppy chair. -Scott" "Well, Andy's at the bottom. -Tim" "Yes I checked with JP last night to make sure the appliance was imaged, cleaned, and ready to go...but yes i did put the silly stickers on... --Mike" "And it's not for the meek. -Scott" "Occasionally, Nate has to take one for the team. -Brian" "I'm a subjectivist at heart. -Jon" "I'm kinda like a pain in the ass. -Scott" "That was the call I didn't say anything on. -Chuck" "What'd they say, "It doesn't suck as much?" -Sushant" "I've been in that code. Come on. You can't tell me that. -Scott" "And I think that it'll be healthy to find out where the holes are. -Brian" "I don't even care if my husband is handsome anymore. -Usha" "Bryan's a unit; he tests it. -Tim" "But I'm also a wierd guy. -Scott" "REMEMBER TO HANG UP at the end of your call. -Mary" "I keep running out of thermostats. -Brian" "And, the important people aren't here. -Brian" "We are ALWAYS for sale. -Brian" "Went from Gleb to me. Funny how that works. -Sushant" "We're not even sure if it works on Windows. -Brian" "It's SO important! It's more important than stopping spam, OK? -Nilay" "It's just not a clot. You don't have a clot. -Ram" "It's just a stupid name for a statistical model. -Jon" "We weren't going to hire monkeys; we were going to ship Matador instead. -Scott" "Well, trust me, after a release everyone looks a little rounder. -Claus at Zone Labs" "It's coming out of the closet that gets everyone bothered. -Andy" "My arteries are basically cheese." "I am ok with anything. -Xiaoqing" "But you must know we are all in agreement, whatever we say." "And it scales to some number right now. -Scott" "We're building the whole product? Just us? -Eric" "That means Sushant was drinking something. -Ram" "Korean, Japanese... It's all the same. -Nate" "You know, what we could do is build new things into Nemo. -Nilay" "We should probably skip a release -- do nothing. -Ram" "E-staff is clueless. -Ram" "And they will see the d@mn thing in the UI. -Ram" "No, no, no. I'm here. I'm on earth. -JP" "Yes, I'm very talented. -Nilay" "At the end of the day, 75% of the stuff we see is just stupid. -Andy K" "It's whatever the code does. -Paul" "It is what it is" "We're doing well in effectiveness right now. -Chuck" "So that's why we should charge for Matador, so that we get some money for getting screwed. -Andy K" "Humming along" "I should go to these porn sites and register. -Ram" "When I started here, I had hair - Gary" "I used to review top secret documents at the Pentagon. Now I review spam. Spam is way better reading. And not classified! --Gary" "Nate, Gail and CJ are the only ones who knew me *withhair -Gary" "At least there's toliet paper in the restrooms... -Gary" "There are only so many articles of clothing I can remove to stay cool... and I think no one wants to see my in my boxers. -Casey" "I was wondering why everything sucked. -Brian" "So I'm gonna kill Bryan Kim later. We'll get back to that, though. -Scott" "What's spam to one person is ham to another." "Man, Chuck's life's gonna suck. -Brian" "Actually, my dog won a product from Microsoft once. -Claus from Zone Labs" "Damon has a lot of free time. I think that's an excellent idea. -Eric" "Billy, I feel so bad for you. It's going to come out of your paycheck. -Bryan" "Sooo happy. Sooooooo happy. Replicator, we're coming to pull you out next. -Brian" "QA, I’m looking forward to the bug reports! -Chad" "You know how much we all love replication. -Eric" "It's good text with dirty image. -Chuck" "It used to be teeny weeny, and now it's just teeny. -Mike Friedman" "Great news! Now we just have to think of a unique name for him. ;-) -Nate" "How about you two arm wrestling for the right to the name Leon at MailFrontier ;-) -Ram" "It's crazy, but crazy in a good way, I guess. -Scott" "There was know white people in there; there was dead ducks hanging from the ceiling - I was so scared! - brian wilson" "Her passion and our needs don't necessarily match. -Ram" "But that's a hard rock to hit engineering's head against. -Jon" "That's not interesting; it's a tragedy. -Jon" "Spam is spam. It's glorious. -Jon" "Req's, directions,... but not actually doing it. -Jon" "It's a marketing guy's dream, man. No engineers. -Scott" "I don't mess with my computer! -Tim" "I was probing; he was probing me. -Ram" "Can't talk, I'm slobbering, it hurts,... -Chuck" "I love you so much, man. Do you want a raise? -Brian" "How it fails, is that it stops replicating files. -CJ" "Oh, that must feel so liberating. -Claus from ZL" "It's all very secure now. We can't get email. -Claus from ZL" "Jon, are you missing erections again? -Sushant" "Cross-functional will become cross-eyed. -Vadim B." "Can you do it on the ceiling? We can all lay down. -Sushant" "You need to feel sorry for us, too. -Usha" "God, you stress me out. -Brian" "You can tell it is an old version because all the entries in the log files are not spelled correctly. -Brian" "I think we should call it the Basistech Disintegration. -Nate" "I don’t believe I’ve ever worked for a company that has toilet paper in the lobby. -Nate" "It looks like the new company habit is to assign all the bugs to me. ;-) -Nate" "Realize that you are, in effect, raising money from your company to pay for the time and people you need. - Ritesh" "When people can connect the dots from their job to company success, they’ll be better equipped to make decisions and set priorities - Ritesh" "Sometimes it takes a child's perspective to remind us of the things that have become "invisible" to us - Ritesh" "Jessica and Sean have just attended the company spirit meeting, and they’re feeling a little dispirited, Did u got it??? - Ritesh" "At this point, the blame game is in full swing - Ritesh" "Arrrrrrgggg. -Jon" "How about everything under the moon? -Gleb" "Yeah, it's a dope-smoking turtle. -Scott" "Nemo, we should definitely hit the gong. -Ram" "They call it maintenance instead of renewal. That makes it an appliance. -Brian" "I have major problems with the calendar - I think it hates me... -Jon" "They want more because they're marketing. -Sunil" "I'll send a cranky email. -Jon" "In this case, the world will be too perfect. -Xiaoqing" "You guys like lots of tweaky tweakies - Damon" "I've got an itch, but I'm not really sure where it is." "The more debugging tools you put in, the easier it is to debug. If you don't, then it's harder to debug. -Nilay" "If he's improving spam-blocking, I'm all for it. -Scott" "According to Brian, engineering thinks, we have fixed all the known memory leak issues. -Usha" "It's only final till we change it. -Leon" "Chuck will be back from SAP by then, if he's not drunk. -Sushant" "QA just makes stuff up. -Scott" "It didn't tank with Nilay - Deanne" "At Mailfrontier, we code review the CTO's code in addition to the VP Engr! -Jon" "We will try to make your dreams come true…. ;) -Mike Farace" "The likelihood that someone really has an email address that begins with a period of dash is relatively low unless they are the singer formerly known as Prince -- from a site about tainted HTML form variables" "If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter :)))" "Oooohhhh, that Private Bytes graph is pretty. -Nate" "I'm backing off of what I think is controversial. -Jon" "It all ends up in mlfstring. -CJ" "Damon and Mike Farace are these great examples that Scott is playing with. -Brian" "I will do the contractors. -Lisa" "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" "I think we should beat him with plungers. -Nilay" "No, we don't monitor anything. -Heath" "If we have to cry and plead, that's what we have to do. -Chuck" "I've taken down a couple of servers before. -Andy K" "And we should not go back in time like this. -Jon" "We can take these ears off, put these on, then we've got these big knobs instead of ears. -Casey" "I think I can restrain myself. -Scott" "I wish you luck on foiling the spammer's dystopian vision of my inbox. -Damon" "I can't dig. -Damon" "But, would you rather try to get it on tonight? -Scott" "Oh, no, I wasn't sucking. -Leon" "Jim Lubinsky sniffs bicycle seats on warm days" "We move forward at MailFrontier - even if it's not a good idea. - - Brian W." "When something is done well, it's only a matter of time until it is done quickly - Ritesh" "Oh, I should have puffed up. -Eugene" "Where do you get the cow heart? -Eric" "That is, there is no hard-coded string in Matador anymore! -Bryan" "Free of the blackmail of certainty" "Aaaahhh... lplplplplp. -Scott" "For the first time in many months we see NO Orion bugs in ZL bugzilla ! -Vadim B" "We didn't have extra inches? -Jon" "Ankur is very good (thanks, Ankur, great job!) -Billy" "If the alarm rings during this testing, please do not be alarmed. (ha ha ha) -Lisa" "I have *NOidea why I thought the memory leak was fixed last time. -Brian" "This leaking found, in Chinese word, is called blind cat meet dead mouse. -Xiaoqing" "This one said it was something like "huge c@cks" that it was junking, but it was actually "anal." -Jon" "I just bring my thing in and hit Ctrl-F2 and it just works. -Sushant" "Inches do matter -Anne" "His own blood, yeah. I'll draw it for you. -Scott" "Lock up your pens. -Gleb" "If Chuck has a complaint, he can come see Nilay. -Brian" "Now's your chance to make Chuck pay for it. -Sunil" "We kind of did the double-whiplash thing. -Gleb" "I'm promiscuous and I play with it. -Brian" "reviewed by billy "the UI stud" ng. -Chad" "Yeah, false positives are bad. -Chuck" "I was never involved in tarpitting. I want to state that for the record. -Jon" "I'll parade him through the hallway; people can throw stuff at him. -Andy K" "Santa just called me a Ho! -Michelle" "We're throwing out 3.5 like candy. -Chuck" "Kris is right. -Paul" "Oh, good. I like candy. -Scott" "I don't read email, basically. -Brian" "I'm hoping for a girl. -Scott" "You can expose anything you want. -Scott" "How did it catch so much spam??? -Jon" "It's not an attack; it's an idiot. -Jon" "Don’t understand, why suddenly everybody is so interested with performance even with the tool everybody hates that much. -Xiaoqing" "WAIT! I need to make sure Brian didn't just TRASH my real fix. -Scott" "Then we just need to implement that stuff at some point… -CJ" "Well, it's just nice to be able to take them off. -Jim L" "That's not a quip, it's a truism. -Paul" "Last time I was in the prolab code I was horrified. -Jon" "Mr. Ray is a giant ray who I just like with no apparent reason :) -Bryan" "I'll go take a chill pill and stop smoking crack now. -Sunil" "We can respond to your needs on an ongoing basis without mucking about. -Jon" "If he's pounding you, then maybe you'd consider it. -Jon" "I want to both fire them and sue them. -Brian" "The fact that she agreed with you proves that she was incompetent. -Usha" "The weather was pretty bad out there. -Eugene" "ps. If you see anyone using the lab as a staging area, please beat them. - Jim L" "How about Nerdite? -Jon" "If you don't send me one, I'm going tell everybody that you did NOTHING all week. -Paul" "Marketing folks are all sheep. -Scott" "I fixed what they “didn’t change” and everything is working now. -Heath" "I wouldn't mind hearing some suggestions in the 'nutty' category... -Chad" "The shorter, the better. -Billy" "It's the House; all they do is write rules. -Adam S" "Let us do the spam blocking, and let them screw up my freedoms. -Brian" "I'm too emotional right now. -Chuck" "Meanwhile, I'll see the doctor about my relay problem. ;-) -Nate" "I guess it's fair since constellations are named after the folks who discover them. :) -Nate" "I need less monkeys. -Andy" "Their entire demo was "see spam", "start Authority, see no spam" -Gleb" "Are those the monkeys that type Shakespeare? -Jon" "But you didn't use the standard password! - Usha" "CTOs – they think they can do anything… -Jon" "There's always time to do it over. There's never time to do it right. -Brian" "Well Chad, if this isn't the problem, then what happened?" "This is definitely fixed, I checked the source code again. It is essentially impossible to defeat it. -Brian" "I doubt it, since it is only running for about 4 minutes, and then crashing. -Nate" "Prolab. It all needs to go into prolab. -Jon" "Nate didn't seem too happy in the lab. -Chuck" "There's overwhelming evidence that things are going wrong. -Jon" "After we crushed CloudMark onstage, the next "pavillion" session was very, VERY fun. -Brian" "I mean, we're engineers, for godsake. -Scott" "I will log a bug for this for fun. -Xiaoqing" "Eugene fixed up Andy's problem. -Jon" "I got addicted to the bean juice. -Jim L" "Do it fast. Don't do it right. - Brian" "I think we have no choice but to just keep commenting out pieces of code until we isolate this. -Mark J" "Then people complain, email helpdesk, and ask "why does nothing work?". -Mike Farace" "That was Ed McGinnis doing magic over there. -Chuck" "That was your bug review dream? -Chuck" "I'm not paying 300 dollars a socket. -Debi" "Think of MailFrontier as the prettiest girl at the party. -Brian" "Bribery will get you nowhere with the sales organization. -Ed McGinnis" "Heck, why not just buy the two license yourself?! -Chad" "Besides the fact that I will win, we can have once heck of a celebration today. -Ram" "It's good to know that our ASG customers are also spammers. ;-) -Eric" "I'll sell anything I can. You wanna buy my plate? -James F" "I don't do Avinti installations. -Mark Joseph" "So those bugs have become features. -Suresh" "There is a KitKat on Billy's keyboard. First come, first served. -Jon" "I know senisitve toes can not walk around here, but I was just trying to be polite. -Usha" "It's always a size thing. -Erica" "This company is built on hacks like that. -Brian" "It would take an act of God to close this quarter. -Adam" "You can give me any title you want. -Scott" "I'm all for fun. -Anne" "I make sure we eat our dog food. -Scott" "It is all-or-nothing with regard to logging. -Nate" "We need to give the appearance of complexity without power. -- Ram" "As soon as you have IT managers hand editing cr@p, you've got a nightmare when it comes back to you. -Jon" "Sorry I'm so slow with this but it's the mouse that's the problem. -Mark Joseph" "So we're the first rat lab for them. -Jon" "I've got a stick but I don't know how long it is or when it will go beta. -Andy K" "Just to be clear, the CTO's opinion is not shared by the CEO. -Tim" "Man I just want to shoot the engineer that wrote this pipelining code. -Mark Joseph" "I will have you know that were I live, being hit by a bus is certainly easier than an car/SUV. -Nilay" "Why don't the company offer me a MailFrontier Scion? -Billy" "Sorry, I still don't quite understand the connection between a Tomcat box and crappy beer. -Eugene" "Ideally, MlfReplicator and MlfUpdater on MtLemon will crash soon... -Nate" "solaris" "White spaces are THE problem. (now theres a good quip) -Jim Lubinsky" "This is cretinous. -Jon" "But don't you feel like you're more empowered? -Sunil" "I'm the daddy's girl. -Chuck"